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What does it mean when we submit to our husbands?

A fellow author the other day posted on his social media post this statement, "Men, if you are not leading your wife to Christ, she does not have to submit to you."  I have to admit to giving this a lot of thought over the past few days.

First- I came from a background where many women were walking with the Lord, attending church, great servant hearts and at Bible study would tell me that although they were married,  their husbands were not Christians and therefore spiritually they had no responsibility toward submitting to him. Their submission was to the Lord only. 

This did not set well with my spirit. This issue of submission was one that we had dealt with as part of our pre-marital counseling and I felt strongly taught on and the concept these women presented seemed at odds with what I had been taught. This was one of the first things as the wife of an "unsaved" husband that I sought the scriptures on. 

Second-I FOUND THIS TO BE TRUE- Paul in I Corinthians lays the gauntlet down this way, if the unbelieving spouse agrees to stay married to the believing spouse, the believing spouse should stay in the relationship- for who knows if by doing so the spouse may be saved.

In Ephesians, Paul commands the men to Love their wives as Christ loves the church and for women to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Some versions read "respect their husbands." 

3rd -Here is our story on this-we had agreed prior to our marriage that I would place my submission under Bill, KNOWING that he was not walking by the Spirit and was not saved as I was. He would be careful to not cause anything to cause me to walk away from the Lord.  Our reality was two fold- as long as I was "doing my own thing spiritually," he had no concern about how he "fit" into the submission question. When there became an issue that created conflict and I went to our pastor for wisdom, I was told "Submit to your husband." It was NOT what I wanted to hear.  I sought the Lord, I remembered what I had studied in the Bible, on my own. When I went back to Bill and told him I was willing to submit to his wishes on that concern, we were able to work out a compromise that pleased both of us. Having said that, this was the beginning of a deeper walk with the Lord for both of us! I needed more faith, under the umbrella of submitting to God's will for me in my relationship with Bill.  And Bill needed more of God, knowing that I intended to follow him(Bill) in his decisions. He needed God's help to make the right decisions. He knew he could not make those decisions without the Lord's wisdom!

Our choice to submit or not submit reflects greatly on how our husbands perceive how we love and respect them. The book of Thessalonians tells us to not quench the Spirit of God. God works in mighty ways! My lack of submission early on in our marriage may have been the nail in the heart of our marriage. I hope this gives us all food for thought in how we submit to each other in our marriages!

What Is It All About

Because she fell in love, Joy Bowser chose to marry a man who was not a Christian, and in the uplifting A Wife and a Witness, she provides insight for other Christian wives who face the same challenge. A Wife and a Witness is the story of one couple's struggle to follow Christ together. Join Christian author Joy Bowser as she fearlessly shares her marital experiences in order that readers might be encouraged and inspired by her candid vulnerability.  Whether you are a Christian whose husband isn't a believer, or a wife desiring to improve your relationship with your spouse this book is for you! A Wife and a Witness outlines specific Biblical concepts to help build a stronger marriage especially if your spouse is not saved, and profound insight into whati s necessary to keep your trust in the Lord, allowing him to work in your day-to-day life and in your home.

Mission Statement

To encourage all wives to pursue and achieve better  marriages. To especially minister to Christian wives to be witnesses of the saving grace of Jesus to their husbands, their children and those around them.

Contact Us

We love to hear your comments and thoughts. Feel free to call, write or e-mail comments and questions.


2017 County Road T3, Liberty Center, OH 43532, us

(419) 832-5561

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Speaking Engagements


My ministry is a ministry of encouragement. It began as a ministry to primarily married women (but also men) who find themselves in "unequally yoked" marriages. It encourages the Christian believer to keep her/his walk true and in that, she/he will be the kind of spouse that may lead their mate to the Lord.    From either video, power point or a beach ball presentation, the point is made that a marriage needs the spiritual power of both spouses to "hold up" a marriage.  it is not the work of one person on their own. This message would be good for young married groups, a Bible Study for married women or even for those who are contemplating marriage.  Scripture is used to show how God can use wives and husbands as He did Esther, "For such a time as this."

Other Topics

What's In it for me? Sunday School teacher training and recruitment. Looks at what can be gained for a teacher spiritually, by being open to being used to teach others.

Encouragement ( The marrow to our body) Takes a look at Bible Scriptures as they relate to encouraging one another.

Share Your Witness- From the story of the Woman at the Well. How God used one woman to turn the town upside down!

Site Content


Scheduling events for 2019  

Cruising for  a Cause

June 1, 2019

9:00am - 2:00 pm

Christ's Church Bowling Green,

14455 Campbell Hill Road

OH 43402

Find out more


Though you may never have been through what Joy went through, you can easily adopt the concepts she presents. Joy offers Biblical principles to help your marriage…” L. Purpura, Bryan ,OH

March 31, 2016  These are the words(wow, oh my, yes and Amen) that came to mind when I started reading A Wife and A Witness. This book is not for the faint of heart, it will cause you to pause and think about if you are treating your spouse the way they should be treated according to God's word.  Joy is trying to keep women from falling into the pitfalls that most women seem to succumb to when one spouse is saved and the other is not. But, I also think this book is beneficial to the wife who has a saved spouse. Even if our spouses are saved there are traps and pitfalls that we succumb to that are listed in this book.  I'm enthusiastic about marriage, so I was excited to read this book. Anytime someone writes about how to heal, restore, reconcile or how to avoid the baits that Satan will place in your path to destroy to marriages, I'm ecstatic to read and share with someone else.  Get a copy of this book, don't sit on the sideline and watch your marriage wither away. Get in the fight, put on the whole armour of God and let Satan know he's a liar. A Wife and A Witness is a 10 star book, but the highest I can give is 5.

To Purchase

Check or Money order to Joy Bowser.

 A WIFE AND A WITNESS in the memo line. Send to 2017 County Road T3 Liberty Center, OH 43532.

Cost- $12.99

Available at: Always Blessed Gift Shop

232  East Main Ottawa, OH


What's Next?

Other books coming:

Move Off This Mountain!

A Mom And A Mentor